This one has been a while coming.
So things can go wrong in our lives. Often its easy to remember whoever it was that made things go wrong. At night, when the lights are out, we go over what they had said, what they did, and how they had conspired to ruin our lives. We keep taking out these grievances to examine them, that they almost become precious to us. And yes, I know what I’m doing, using the word, ‘precious’!
A long time ago, I heard a saying that I’ve never been able to trace. It went something like, ‘Our deepest wounds become our dearest friends.’ Many of us know this from the inside. You begin to cast yourself as the victim, without realising it would have wider ramifications. Victim’s are powerless, and that’s what we became. We become powerless in the face of the memories of these people, and our unforgiveness towards them.
Forgiveness sets everyone free. Well in truth, it only guarantees to set free the one who does the forgiving. It is a decision (and must be an ongoing decision) to no longer let the hurtful words, the shameful actions have the final, defining say about who we are. It is to let ourselves be found in who God says we are, and (this is the tricky bit) to let God have the final say on them too.
I wrote this song a week or so ago. Its been helping me sing my forgiveness. I hope it blesses you too, that would be a nice bonus. I’d love to hear what you think.
I have been carrying this long enough
Just hearing your name’s enough to boil my blood
And there’s no doubting you did me wrong
But now I’m asking ‘how long is too long?’
For a while I needed to keep the score
Because you treated me so poor
And all those lies you told they hurt
But now you got us both living in the dirt
Its time to set you free
And rescue me
From all this bitterness
That’s choking us
The life I want to find
That’s free and kin
Wait’s for me
To let you go.
The way you spoke it left me raw
But I don’t want that shaping me no more
I’m traveling light, I’m on my way
And what you said isn’t getting a say
For there is one who has the right
To lay the blame and pick a fight
But that’s not me, it sure aint you
And he longs for all to be made new
Rowan
He saw it and it was good. Both in what it is and in what it means.
Malcs
Thanks Rowan, yeah a tough subject, but somehow singing a bluesy song about it makes it more manageable!